


Death Drinks Tea

by PterodactylKenneth



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Friendship, I Tried, No Romance, Other, The mighty boosh!au, i just thought this would be funny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-13 05:43:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20169109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PterodactylKenneth/pseuds/PterodactylKenneth
Summary: "You've got to be ready for death," Kihyun said, "I'll welcome him, offer him some tea-""Nah I see Death being more of a coffee drinker""That's not the point Changkyun"------Ok so this is completely based off the episode of the mighty boosh where Howard goes to monkey Hell. If you don't know what the mighty boosh is then this is going to be real weird but it's a great show by Noel Fielding and Julian Barrat so check it out!





	1. Chapter 1

"A handsome stranger, called death -" 

"Can you pipe down?" Changkyun interrupted Kihyun's monologuing, "Bollo's not well! Stop with the bleak imagery" 

Bollo the ape sat sadly on the floor of his enclosure. After who knows how many years of happily living in the zoo, Bollo's age finally seemed to have caught up with him. For the past week, Changkyun and Kihyun had been at his side keeping an eye on him. As the owner of the Zoo, Wonho wanted to do everything he could to keep Bollo happy. Changkyun gently placed a thermometer in his mouth and watched in horror as the reading sky rocketed.

"Death's nothing to be afraid of," Kihyun said to Bollo, "Be ready for it like me" 

Changkyun snorted at him and laid a cold flannel over Bollo's brow.

Kihyun ignored the snort and continued, "You've got to be ready for death," Kihyun said, "I'll welcome him, offer him some tea-"

"Nah I see Death being more of a coffee drinker"

"That's not the point Changkyun"

"Aw does he get a biscuit too?"

"Don't be stupid" Kihyun scowled, then paused and grinned. Changkyun could sense a dad-joke coming.

"He's trying to lose weight" He chuckled, eyes turning to crescents, "Get it? He's a skeleton, He'd munch them and they'd crumble through him!"

Changkyun stared at Kihyun in disbelief. He knew there was a dad-joke coming but he didn't think it would have been that bad. 

Bollo grunted out a laugh that quickly turned into a coughing fit. The both of them hurried to his side, waiting for it to pass, Changkyun's face growing grave.

Once the fit had passed, Kihyun motioned for Changkyun, just away from the poorly ape.

"Look, prepare yourself ok? I know you're close with Bollo but," he hesitated, "But he's on his way out" 

Changkyun sighed and glanced over at the ape. He really was a pitiful sight with the flannel over his brow and the thermometer in his mouth.

"I know. I'll try"

Kihyun nodded and patted him comfortingly on the shoulder. "I've got to go, Wonho wanted to talk to me earlier" And with one last sad glance over at Bollo, Kihyun left the enclosure and headed to Wonho's office.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You want me to what?" Kihyun stared dead faced at his boss, he couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. Wonho couldn't be serious.

"Just pretend to be Bollo! Only for an hour or so, go on" Wonho whined, "His sponsor is visiting and if she sees him like that she won't give us anything"

"I'm not doing that! I've got some dignity"

"Just - I don't know - eat a banana? Kick some hay about, I'll give you the costume" Wonho stood from his desk and went to the wardrobe by the door. He slid it open and pulled out a startlingly realjsfic ape costume. Kihyun didn't want to ask why he was keeping that in his office wardrobe. Wonho laid the costume down across the desk and perched next to it. He looked at Kihyun with pleading eyes and hands clasped.

"Please? I'm asking as not only your boss, but also you're friend" he smiled sweetly.

"I'm not doing it it" Kihyun said, turning around to leave. He heard Wonho sigh dejectedly and the sound of the monkey costume being picked back up.

Just as he opened the door, Wonho spoke again, "Its ok, you're not that great an actor anyway"

Kihyun stopped, hand still on the door knob. This was a cheap trick on Wonho's part. He knew Kihyun was competitive, he knew Kihyun thought himself a decent actor and he knew Kihyun would do anything to prove himself. Wonho watched as Kihyun's neck twitched ever so slightly.

"Guess I'll just get Hyungwon to do it…" he continued, trying and failing to keep the grin out of his voice, but Kihyun didn't notice. He turned round at the mention of Hyungwon's name, eyes burning with ambition, "No, no," he cried, "Get me some bananas, I'll do it"


	2. Chapter 2

It was getting dark, the zoo engulfed in late night sun. The final visitors were making their way to the gates, Hyungwon was closing his Shaman Store, the tent now zipped up and closed. Changkyun was still sat with the weakened ape, who was now wrapped in a fuzzy blanket and had a small bowl of mushy bananas. 

  


"It's alright Bollo," he stroked the apes fur, "You'll pull through" at this point, Changkyun was half convincing Bollo, half convincing himself. The ape had gotten worse as the day went on. If he survived the night, Changkyun would be surprised.

"Death is near" Bollo grunted, staring bleakly up at Changkyun. He his heart ached. He knew he shouldn't have got this close to Bollo, that's the first rule of zookeeping. Wonho's warning he gave on Changkyun's first day rang in his head: "love the animals - but not too much - they could die on your watch". 

"Don't say that Bollo" Changkyun murmured, but he could feel Bollo leaning on him heavily. He was almost glad Kihyun hadn't turned up for the rest of his shift, he didn't think he'd want to witness this. They sat in silence for a few moments, Changkyun idly weaving his fingers through Bollo's fur. Soon, the apes laboured breathing faded, his body no longer stirring.

Changkyun slowly covered him with the rest of the blanket and let the tears that had been threatening to fall, fall.

  


\-----

  


"Nice one, Ki!" Wonho rounded the corner towards to the enclosure Kihyun was in, "She totally bought it!"

"See, I can act" Kihyun, sweating underneath the monkey suit, grinned. It turned out, pretending to be a monkey was piss easy. All he did was sit on the floor and look interested in some fleas. If he was honest, he'd kind of enjoyed it. Wonho smiled back at him and gave him a thumbs up.

"Ok so uh, just stay in there until she's gone, yeah?"

Kihyun sighed but nodded. Wonho gave another thumbs up and jogged off towards his office. He sat back down on the hay covered floor and let his mind drift. He hoped Bollo was alright, and Changkyun. He'd missed his last shift of the day for this.

  


\----

  


The Zoo was now almost completely dark, the only light coming from the lamps that lit the pathways. Just as Kihyun's eyes were beginning to get used to the dim, he spotted someone. A figure was lingering by the bin just opposite the enclosure.

"Hey, 'scuse me? The Zoo's closed" Kihyun called out. He couldn't make out the face of the figure, it's features obscured by a hood. It ignored Kihyun's shout and began to walk towards him.

"Can I help you?" Kihyun tried again, but the figure kept coming and to his horror, passed through the bars of the enclosure and reached out towards him.

"Come with me"

"Fuck"

  


\------

  


"Kyun"

Changkyun jolted awake, head shooting up from where he had fallen asleep on Bollo's shoulder. The blanket beneath him wet with his tears.

"Kyun"

He looked up. Under the blanket, Bollo was struggling to get free. Quickly he pulled the fabric down off the apes head, hands shaking.

Bollo grinned at him lopsidedly, "I feel much better" he grunted.

Changkyun shook his head in disbelief and threw his arms round the apes neck, "I knew you'd pull through! We have to get Ki!"

  


\----

  


The cloaked figure - the reaper, he supposed - sang to himself loudly as the cab drove on. What the cab was driving on, Kihyun wasn't sure, since the view from the window showed only darkness.

He inspected the reaper through the glass and nearly choked on his own spit when he noticed his hands. Both of the reapers hands gripped the steering wheel, one human while the other was pure bone. As they turned a corner, the sleeve of the cloak shifted slightly to reveal that the reapers entire left arm was simply skeletal - no skin, just bone.

"Hey," Kihyun knocked on the glass divide of the cab, "Excuse me?". The reaper continued his singing. Kihyun knocked louder and repeated himself, "Hey? Can you hear me?". The skeletal hand came off the wheel and reached back to open the divide.

"You alright?" Asked the reaper

"Where are you taking me?" Kihyun stressed

"Monkey Hell, sit back and relax my friend"

"Monkey- Monkey Hell?" He spluttered, "There's been a mistake!" The reaper merely laughed and shook his cloaked head. "Thats what they all say, 'I'm too young to die!' 'Its not my time!' Just relax!"

Kihyun couldn't believe what he was hearing. He pulled the mask of the costume off and gripped the divide desperately, "But I'm not a monkey, I'm wearing a monkey suit, see!". The reaper laughed again, "I've heard some excuses in my time, but this-" he turned round to face Kihyun and stopped abruptly once he saw him properly, "I don't believe this"

The reaper stopped the cab and pulled out a radio. "R. Jooheon to office, R. Jooheon to office" he said

"R. Shownu here" the radio crackled back

"I've er, gone and picked up the wrong man"

"Again?"

"It's not my fault this time! He was in an ape costume, in the ape enclosure what was I supposed to do"

The voice on the radio sighed, "Alright well, better bring him in"

"Cheers" The reaper, Jooheon, clicked the radio off and turned back to Kihyun. "l'm taking you back to head office, but I'm not happy with you" he pouted

"What?" Kihyun exclaimed, he'd almost been taken to Monkey Hell and now this Reaper was pouting at him?

"l live right near Monkey Hell, put an extra 40 minutes on my journey now"


End file.
